Shortly before her 23rd birthday, my oldest daughter got her first credit card.
Getting a first credit card is one of those milestones telling you that you’ve arrived, and you’re a part of the real world. It means that you’re an adult, kind of like turning 21 and ordering your first drink at a bar, or landing your first full-time job. So, I was hoping that Isabelle would wait a little longer for her first credit card, until I was comfortable with her being so grown up.
But she waited until she landed her first full-time job out of college. She is employed at a daycare while she works on getting her elementary school teacher’s license. I can hardly complain.
If you’re a parent of a young adult who is thinking of getting their first credit card, or just got one, you likely know how I’m feeling. If you’re a young adult, planning on getting a credit card, and you’re rolling your eyes at your parents, all I can say is – cut us some slack. There’s a good chance your parents have a love-hate relationship with credit cards, and they just want you to be careful with them.
Why I was leery about my daughter getting a credit card
Back in my day (I’m talking about the late 1980s, 1990s and life up to 2009), credit card companies would let just about anyone, as long as they were 18 years old, get a credit card. It’s easy to see why that seemed reasonable at the time. You’re 18 and legally an adult. Why shouldn’t you be able to get a credit card? But often, at age 18, you don’t yet have a full-time job because you’re in college or trade school or maybe finding your way through a gap year or a series of odd jobs, and so a lot of 18-year-olds had credit cards and got into trouble with them.
You can still be 18 and get a credit card and get in trouble with them – but at least now you have to show the credit card company proof of income as part of the application process.
Most of my credit card troubles started after college, when I only sometimes had a job but always had a credit card. I wound up with a lot of revolving credit card debt, although I also made a lot of moronic financial decisions in my early 20s, like at 23, after I had a good job with entry-level wages, buying an incredibly expensive Ford Probe, a sports car that I had no business purchasing. I didn’t want Isabelle to make similar mistakes, and she has heard me talk about my financial blunders since she was knee-high.
Why my daughter was leery about getting a credit card
She wanted to get one, but she was a little nervous. “I’ve seen people around me go into a lot of debt,” she said, carefully. I thought she might be referring to me – when you’re a freelance writer, going into debt between paychecks can be part of the territory – and after I asked, yes, she was referring to me, but she was also thinking of some of her friends who got credit cards when they were 18 and had proof of income, just not enough income maybe to start using credit cards regularly.
“It can really ruin your life,” Isabelle said. “I know some people who got a credit card when they first turned 18, and the company gave them a huge credit line of, like, $5,000, and because they were young and impulsive they used the entire credit line and got into a whole lot of debt before they were even 21.”
Deciding on the best credit card to start with
Although I wanted Isabelle to wait to get a credit card, I was also kind of excited by the idea. Wow, I thought. All these years of writing about credit cards, and now I’m going to see it pay off in a fun way, since Isabelle wants one. I’ve got all of this wisdom I can impart. We’ll sit down together, and we’ll pore over the best beginner credit card lists. It’ll be like one of those Hallmark movies or TV commercials where the dad and daughter bond. We’ll laugh, we’ll cry, maybe we’ll-
“Dad, I got a credit card,” Isabelle said, interrupting my thoughts.
“Wait, what?”
Yeah, after a couple of years of occasionally discussing credit cards, and my making it clear that I was there for her whenever she was ready to choose a card, she went ahead and got one without me…
➤ SEE MORE:How to choose your first credit card
How to apply for a credit card for the first time
Isabelle went through a few straight-forward steps.
She thought about what she wanted out of a first credit card to build credit.
She read articles with opinion writers suggesting the best credit card to start with.
Then she applied for her first credit card.
It was a pretty easy, straightforward process. Apparently, she didn’t need any help from her father. Sigh.
But at least once the card arrived in the mail, Isabelle threw me a bone and did ask me for pointers on how to use her credit card. It was something.
I won’t say which credit card she has – we’ve talked plenty about identity theft and the importance of not being overly chatty about your finances on social media or in articles that the whole world can read. But she got a credit card designed for new users, and we’ll leave it at that. There are quite a few of them out there.
➤ SEE MORE:What to know before applying for your first credit card
It’s good to have a plan for your first credit card
“I’m going to use the credit card for gas and small purchases at the grocery store, and I’ll pay it back in full every month,” Isabelle said. “Credit card debt is really scary, and I don’t want to owe more than I know I can afford to pay back.”
Sure, that sounds like something a 23-year-old is going to tell a parent, to make them feel better, but I believe her, and I’d encourage any parents who are objecting to their kids wanting to get a credit card not to object. For starters, if they’re 21, they’re adults. Secondly, you raised them, and this is your chance to see how you did. Thirdly, nobody wants to get deep into debt, and one of Isabelle’s friends has credit card debt and was stuck in a payday loan cycle for quite a while. So, she has seen the first-hand dangers of debt without experiencing it herself. But she also understands how important it is to have good credit.
In fact, I asked Isabelle, if she’s so worried about credit card debt, why does she want a credit card?
“The system or economy, it kind of forces you to, because we need a good credit score to buy a house and get a good rate on car insurance and a car loan and a lot of other things like that. You need a good credit score to get things you need and to be able to live life in our country,” she said.
She isn’t wrong. And as it turns out, my other daughter, Lorelei, who is majoring in social work and approaching her 21st birthday, just texted me from college and said she is thinking she would like to get a credit card soon. Which is great. It’s going to be like one of those Hallmark movies or TV commercials where the dad and daughter bond. We’ll laugh, we’ll cry, maybe we’ll wear matching sweaters while we compare credit cards designed for first-time users. Hey, if we time this right, before too long, I can blow another chance to help my youngest daughter apply for her first credit card, too…
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